


Worth the Risk

by Corrie71



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Conversations, First Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-28
Updated: 2013-11-28
Packaged: 2018-01-02 20:42:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1061404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corrie71/pseuds/Corrie71
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bones chats with Sarek and has to decide if his feelings for Jim are worth the risk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Worth the Risk

“Doctor McCoy. I’ve been expecting you to come and visit.” Sarek—as they’d all agreed to call the older Spock--entered McCoy’s tiny office in Starfleet Medical, interrupting the doctor during his paperwork. 

“Have you now?” Bones asked, professionally pleasant but cool, as Sarek took the chair across from him. 

“Yes. All the bridge crew of the Enterprise have come to see me. Wanting to know more about themselves in the first timeline.”

“Other timeline, you mean.” 

Sarek inclined his head. “If you prefer. You have not come to see me.”

“Jimmy—That is the Captain--”

“You call him Jimmy?”

“Sometimes, why?”

“It is not a nickname we used for my Jim Kirk. Interestingly, my Jim Kirk called you Bones, just the same as here. Go on.”

“Anyway, Jimmy filled me in some. I didn’t figure I need to know any more. What does it matter?”

“We don’t yet know if it will matter or not. The others wanted to know how their histories were different and yet the same.”

“A paradox.”

“Indeed, doctor.” They lapsed into an awkward silence. Bones tapped his fingers on the desk and glanced out the tiny window. He wanted to ask Sarek to leave, preferring to pretend the other timeline just didn’t exist. Before Bones could find the words, Sarek cleared his throat and started talking. 

“In my timeline, you were born in August 2227 in both to David and Loretta McCoy of Marietta, Georgia. You had two sisters. I believe your father was also a doctor as you often spoke of him being your inspiration to become a doctor. It seems in all the timelines that I have ever visited, Leonard McCoy is destined to become a doctor, a very good one, with a compassionate heart under your curmudgeonly exterior.”

Bones inclined his head at the compliment. “Yes, that is all true here. Just as you’ve said. I have an older sister and a younger one.”

“If my calculations are correct, the timeline splits when you were about 5 and 1/2. Did you attend the University of Mississippi?” Bones started and then nodded. “As I said, you have always been destined to be a very good doctor.”

‘What about Pamela?” Bones rasped out, in spite of himself.

“Who is Pamela?”

“My ex-wife.”

“Interesting. In my time, you also had an ex-wife. However, her name was Jocelyn. And your daughter’s name was Joanna.”

“My daughter?” Bones stared at the elderly Vulcan, so shocked his mind went blank.

“You do not have children in this…”

“I did. My daughter, Joanna, died as a baby.” Even Jim didn’t know that.

“I grieve with thee.” 

“So, she lived in the other timeline but I still went into the black with you? I can’t imagine that I wouldn’t have stayed to raise my baby girl.”

“She was not a baby when the Enterprise sailed. You must understand. In the other timeline, Jim did not take command of the Enterprise so young. We didn’t set sail until about 10 years later or perhaps, more precisely, older. Your daughter was entering college when you left.”

“But the Academy…”

“You did not attend the Academy. You joined Starfleet after your divorce. We all met aboard the Enterprise.”

“Jim and I met aboard the shuttle, our first day, before we even made it to the Academy.”

“Your Jim Kirk tells me that you are as close as brothers.”

“Brothers.” Bones said, flatly. He tried to ignore the sting in his chest. He’d known for years that Jim’s feelings for him were entirely fraternal. He told himself as much every day. Still, it stung to hear it said in that cool, logical voice.

“Are you not entirely brotherly?”

“Yes. No. We are very brotherly.”

“In my time, you were best friends. Nothing more. Jim’s primary bond was with me and mine to him. However, in this time…it seems that, though much is the same, things are also quite different. Spock adores Nyota just as you adore Jim. I can read it on your face.”

“He doesn’t know.”

“On the contrary, he is aware of your feelings.” Damn, that hurt worse than the brotherly comment. Bones sucked in a breath, fighting to draw it past the ache in his heart. “And unaware of his own.”

“You mean that…” 

“Perhaps more precisely he does not acknowledge the depth of his not-entirely-brotherly feelings for you. Oh yes, I was very surprised to discover that your Jim Kirk is rather desperately in love with you, his Bones. My Jim Kirk did not share that particular set of emotions.”

Bones blinked at the old Vulcan. He knew they couldn’t lie. If what he said was true…Bones couldn’t bear to hope.

“You, along with the rest of your bridge crew, are now questioning all the choices you’ve made. I will give you the same warning that I gave them. I believe that the two timelines will try to right themselves. Jim is Captain of the Enterprise. You are the CMO, just as you were in my time. Both feats that individuals a decade older than yourselves would struggle to achieve. I believe this is an indication that the original timeline is endeavoring to right itself.”

“You—a Vulcan—believe in predestination, that our fates are written on the stars.”

“I am a Vulcan who is t’hy’la with James Kirk. I believe in many things that others of my race, even your Spock, would not. I believe that it is James Kirk and Spock’s destiny to become t’hy’la, even in this timeline. If so, where does that leave you and Nyota?”

Bones shrugged and then let his shoulder slump. He put his elbows on the desk and buried his face in his hands. In the space of just a few moments, Sarek had extended hope only to snatch it cruelly away.

“For me, I believe it would be better not to risk it. To walk away from such attachment, that can only end in pain and agony. However, when I said that to your Jim…”

“He said he doesn’t believe in no-win scenarios.”

“James Kirk, in any timeline, doesn’t believe in no-win scenarios. No, instead he asked me a question. He asked if I would, knowing all I know now, walk away from being t’hy’la with my James Kirk.”

“And?” Bones prompted, after a moment, though it was rather a personal question to ask a virtual stranger.

“And I am forced to concede that it would be worth the risk, worth the pain. In any timeline. You and Spock from your time are not yet friends. But, where I come from, you are my very good friend and so I wish you well and all the best. So, I shall simply say, live long and prosper.” Sarek took his leave. 

Bones walked back across the campus. Even for spring in San Francisco it was a cold day, bitter wind blowing off the bay to nip at his exposed skin. In a daze, he walked into their dorm room, home to both him and Jim for these past three years. From their first moments together, they’d been inseparable. Bonded. Bones wondered when he’d stopped being his individual self and became part of a unit—Jim and Bones. Probably about the same moment that Jim had christened him with a new name and started glueing his jagged edges back together again.

Jim sat on the sofa, reading a PADD, the collar of his gray dress uniform loosened at the neck. In the gloaming, his golden hair looked like a halo, gleaming in the low light. Bones stood by the door, just looking at Jim. Less than two weeks before, Bones risked everything he’d worked for, just to keep Jim at his side. He wondered if he possessed the courage to risk just a bit more now. If what Spock said was true, then…Jim loved him as much as he loved him. 

“Hey, Bones. Where ya been?” Jim stretched and grinned at him. 

“Sarek came by my office today.”

Jim lowered his arms, warily, watching. “Why?”

“He said I was the only one in this timeline that hasn’t sought his advice, his knowledge of the other world.”

“I imagine all of us are curious, Bones. Aren’t you?”

“Do you think he’s right? Do you think the timelines will try to re-knit itself?”

“I think it’s possible.” Jim shrugged. “But, I’m not sure there is anything we can do about it. We just have to live our lives here and try not to let the other timeline affect us too much.”

Bones crossed the room and pulled Jim up into his embrace. Jim’s wide lagoon blue eyes were the last thing he saw before he pressed his lips against Jim’s mouth. Jim’s arms came up around him and he kissed him back. After several moments, they broke apart, Jim looking rather dazed. 

“I think we’re worth the risk, darlin.’”

“Me too.” Jim pulled his head down for another kiss.


End file.
